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Friday, January 29, 2010

Anisette Brasserie -- Los Angeles, CA

CLOSED--THANK GAWD

225 Santa Monica Blvd. 
Santa Monica, CA 90401

It's been about a month since the last post, but there's been nothing new to reveal---the burger at Olives was still  amazing--they even over-cooked it, and it was still the best thing in Vegas without boobs.  
Sadly, the burger at Anisette Brasserie could not claim similar bragging rights.  Note: the only reason that we went there was because The Yard was not open for lunch.

Now, for 16 bucks you're thinking, "This is going to be a tasty, well-prepared burger."  You Sir, are wrong. What you get is a charred puck of over-cooked beef on a bun, which dwarfs the burger and really brings to light the fact that this is one dry-ass burger.
#1--They overcooked the burger--the only passable bite was the center--3 burgers ordered Med Rare--3 burgers served Med Well--at least they were consistent.
#2--The grill (not griddle) was set way too high, so the predominant flavor was char, which was sad, because the beef was really quite good.
#3--How about some salt and GD pepper?  It makes everything pop! They failed to season the beef inside or out, so I was left slathering this thing in mustard just to feel something...anything.
#4--I'm all for skipping excess calories--that's why I am such a handsome and muscular man, but a little fat in this burger-shaped dust bunny would have lent some much needed moisture.
#5--They served it with pancetta rather than bacon--Pancetta is bacon's rancid cousin--normally you'd wave this nastiness off, but this burger was so bland, that spoiled pork actually improved the flavor.
#6--The massive bun dwarfed the over-cooked patty, which took this cheeseburger from dry to Sahara. They managed to char the bun, so that added to the general unpleasantness of the dish.
If you're feeling particularly heath conscious and order a salad instead of fries, the joke will be on you--that salad was a wad of plain butter lettuce, which you will not eat, so don't bother--enjoy the fries, fat ass--they are better than the burger.

Burger Review :  I hear The Yard is pretty good.  Anisette Brasserie is worthless.

Rating...1 Bite

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