Sunday, July 21, 2013

Dolce Isola--Los Angeles, CA

2869 S Robertson Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90034

 Dolce Isola was within walking distance for Happy Meal and myself, and I noticed during my research for a decent slice of Key Lime Pie that they served up a burger. Dolce Isola was the bakery for the iconic Ivy restaurants in Los Angeles. There was ample, metered, street parking. Happy Meal and I were quickly seated by the friendly staff. The tables were tiny and seemed better suited for coffee and pastries rather than a sit-down meal. We ordered a couple of the India's Hamburgers ($11.75). After a 20-minute wait, the first attempt at properly cooked burgers and fries arrived.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: The beef at Dolce Isola was ground Sirloin from Niman Ranch. The beef was 100% Organic and Grass-Fed. On the initial attempt, my burger was cooked to Well-Done, but I had requested Med-Rare. I sent that cheeseburger back. On the second attempt, the beef was marvelous. The burger boasted strong notes of beef, a hint of aged funk, steaky minerality, and just enough blood to remind me that I was eating meat. The burger was downright juicy with  a fat content of 20%. The mouth feel was moist and tender.

The Seasoning: The kitchen at Dolce Isola hit the exterior with just enough salt and pepper to bring out the absolute best in the juicy, burger patty.

The Sear: My burger was seared nicely on a properly hot griddle. The sear was thorough, and it provided a crisp texture to showcase the juicy, tender interior of the burger patty.

The Preparation: Dolce Isola took delivery of pre-ground, (coarse) Niman Ranch beef. The 8-ounce burger patties were formed by hand during morning prep. The burgers were cooked, and not pressed, on a very hot, gas-fired griddle.

The Cheese: The only cheese choice was a French Brie. In true soft cheese fashion, the Brie melted away leaving only bitter rind atop my burger patty. Brie and/or Camembert are bleak choices for cheeseburger toppings. On the initial attempt the Brie was unmelted, but that was because the over-cooked burger had been allowed to cool...presumably as the first batch of fries were being over-cooked. Yikes.

The Bun: Dolce Isola employed a house-baked, hearty, sun-dried tomato Brioche as the burger bun. The Brioche was fresh, moist, firm, and savory. The bun was properly toasted, and it provided crunch in every bite that involved the edges.

The Meat To Bun Ratio: This was perfect. The bun held up to the very juicy patty with distinction.

The Toppings: The Niman Ranch bacon was savory, smokey, and crisp. The fried basil was unduly oily...the kitchen had failed to blot it prior to assembling the cheeseburger. I was glad that I ordered this on the side. The creamy pesto was fine, but I did not put in on my burger.

The Fries: The first attempt at fries yielded bitter, over-cooked sticks of sadness. It also resulted in a frustrating encounter with my server who argued that the fries were just fine. The manager set things right by replacing my order with a properly cooked order of fries and a Med-Rare cheeseburger. My server was in need of a hospitality refresher course...and so it goes. On the second attempt, the house-cut, peel-off, par-cooked, properly salted fries were perfect. They were crisp, hot, and savory.

The Value: $11.75 for a half-pound, high-quality burger on a house-baked bun with hand-cut fries was right in the wheelhouse. The value at Dolce Isola, in spite of numerous quality control issues, was just fine. I will note that my burger was comped due to the preparation issues. The manager sent us off with a nice bag of cookies, as well. The cookies were delicious.

Dolce Isola served up a really, really good burger. High-quality, fresh ingredients were combined to create a terrific cheeseburger. It took two tries, but it was completely worth the wait. The bacon was the cherry on the sundae.

Burger Review : Really good beef and generous portions provided at a fair price.

Rating...4 Bites

Friday, July 12, 2013

Landry's Seafood House--Las Vegas, NV

2610 W Sahara Avenue
Las Vegas, NV 89102

Day 5 of the 2nd round of Las Vegas burgers for Happy Meal and I took us to Landry's Seafood House. A lovely cocktail waitress had a strong opinion about the best cheeseburger in Las Vegas. She lit up when describing this particular burger. Her passion moved me to the point that I made Landry's our next trip. Besides, we weren't having a lot of luck finding burger greatness on this trip, and were becoming disheartened by a string of over-priced and under-delivering cheeseburgers.

Landry's was across from the Palace Station Casino. It offered free parking in the attached lot. We were quickly seated. Our server brought out the chef once the questions started coming. We order a couple of the Landry's Gold Burgers. Our food arrived in about 15 minutes.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: Landry's Seafood House burger were comprised of 8 ounces of Certified Angus Chuck. Unlike P.J. Clarke's, where the Chuck was on the bland side, the Chuck in the Landry's Gold Burger was flavorful. the burger boasted strong, nearly heavy, beef notes. There was a satisfying note of funk from an aging process. The 80:20 burger meat was juicy to the point of nearly overwhelming the bun. The grind was medium, and the bite was firm yet yielding.

The Seasoning: Yes! The kitchen at Landry's Seafood House hit the exterior of the uniform burger patties with a generous amount of salt and pepper. This seasoning caused the rich, beefy flavor to really pop. The result was a richly satisfying bite of beef.

The Sear: The sear on the Landry's Gold Burger was not especially impressive on the non-cheese covered side, but it did provide a nice crunch around the edges of the patty. That coupled with the savory seasoning created a bacony effect...and everything is better with bacon.

The Preparation: We ordered Medium--we got Medium. The burgers were seared on a properly hot, gas-fired grill. The patties were only turned once while cooking, and this allowed them to remain perfectly juicy. The 8-ounce patties were formed during the prep cycle. The beef was not over-manipulated during this process.

The Cheese: Landry's topped our cheeseburgers with a generous portion of shredded, sharp, savory, Cheddar cheese. The shredded Cheddar was nicely melted. It added depth and complexity to the bite with its creaminess along with the notes of iron, salt, and tartness.

The Bun: The bun was a generic, unseeded, standard burger bun. It was moderately sweet, fresh, a little  yeasty, moist, and nicely toasted around the edges. The bun compressed perfectly. The bottom bun soaked up the copious burger juices with no capacity to spare.

The Meat To Bun Ratio: This was perfect. The bun barely managed to contain the juicy patty.

The Toppings: The shredded Iceberg lettuce was fresh and sweet. The tomato slice was hearty and ripe.

The Fries: The peel-on fries were a frozen Sysco Foods product, but they were really quite good. The fries were crisp, perfectly salted, nicely browned, and rich with potato flavor. The fries were cooked in the same oil as the breaded shrimp, and this imparted a pleasant shrimp flavor. This was a good surprise!

The Value: $9.99 for a 1/2-pound burger with a side of fries was a fair value considering the fact that Landry's Seafood House really delivered in terms of flavor and quality of preparation.

The Landry's Gold Burger was the best burger that Happy Meal and I had sampled in Las Vegas on this trip. Landry's restored our faith in Las Vegas burgers.

Burger Review : A really good and very cheesy cheeseburger at a fair price was enjoyed at Landry's Seafood House.

Rating...5 Bites (rounded up from 4.5 Bites)

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Heart Attack Grill--Las Vegas, NV

450 Fremont Street
Las Vegas, NV 89101

Our 4th burger to try on this trip to Las Vegas was the recently relocated Heart Attack Grill. Heart Attack Grill, located in Old Las Vegas (Freemont Street), was originally a Chandler, AZ establishment, and it had been uprooted to find a new home in NV. Parking was available at a nearby public lot, and a quick walk through a less glamorous (sanitary) part of Las Vegas got us to the front door. At the front door there was a massive scale for incoming patrons to step on in the event that they wished to show the outside crowd how much they weighed. A similar scale was available inside. Heart Attack Grill offered free meals to patrons over 350 pounds. Happy Meal and I watched in stunned amazement when a massive human weighed in at 402 pounds. A siren went off, and the place burst into applause. It was like the Biggest Loser in reverse. 

Beyond that, patrons that failed to clean their plates were paddled (hard) by the staff. The staff was women in tight nurse uniforms. The customers were dressed in hospital gowns upon entering the establishment. There was even a blood pressure machine with a Hall of Fame list of the highest recorded systolic and diastolic pressures. I ran mine for kicks. My heart rate was 53, and the machine could not register my BP (it's usually 100/60). The machine displayed an error message--I think I broke it!

Happy Meal and I, being little fellas, ordered a couple of Single Bypass Burgers, fries, and water. Each patty at Heart Attack Grill weighed in at 8 ounces, so the Quadruple Bypass Burger would have been 2 pounds of meat. The fries were cooked in lard, so we went with a single order. We passed on soft drinks, since the only sodas that were offered were of the full-sugar variety. Oh, Heart Attack Grill was cash-only, and there was a low-fee ATM on-site.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: Heart Attack Grill took delivery of their pre-ground Chuck from Larry's Great Western Meats. The Chuck was strongly beefy. It was neither juicy nor dry. The fat content was 20%. The cheeseburger had a nice flavor of funk from a little aging. The 8-ounce patty was hand-formed, irregular, and about a 1/2 inch in thickness. The beef was firm without being chewy. The beef was coarsely ground to deliver a hearty mouth feel. The beef was above average.

The Seasoning: There was none. This was forgivable in the case of Heart Attack Grill. They typically only served their burgers with tomato, onion, cheese, and chili. They were kind enough to indulge us with an exception to this rule. The chili was flavorful enough to compensate for the lack of salt and pepper on the cheeseburger.

The Sear: The sear on the burger patties was average. Heart Attack Grill used a gas-fired, roller grill--a tunnel of love for ground beef. This imparted a moderate but not crisp sear.

The Preparation: There wasn't much to it. The patties were cooked automatically. They arrive a perfect Well-Done, and for that I was grateful. I wanted as much of the fat to render off as possible.

The Cheese: The thick slices of American cheese was perfectly melted over the burger patty. The cheese provided a creamy, gooey texture. It also delivered iron and salt to the bite.

The Bun: This was a potato bun from Great Buns Bakery of Las Vegas, NV.  The bun was on the dry side, and it was barely toasted. Again, the fully dressed burger would have compensated for this. The bun was very mild. It was really just a way to deliver calories.

The Meat To Bun Ratio: This was perfect. I imagined that the bun may have been a little challenged has I tried to eat the fully dressed burger.

The Fries: The lard cooked fries were strongly reminiscent of Five Guys. The fries were cut in house. The fries were par-cooked and peel-on. The fries were a little lank, but they were properly seasoned.

The Toppings: The Heart Attack Grill chili was creamy, savory, and laden with orange grease. It was delicious. The tomato slice was fresh and ripe. The bacon was crisp and salty.

The Value: $8.33 for a 1/2-pound cheeseburger with chili was a fine price. Happy Meal and I were barely able to finish our meals. Frankly, the prospect of a paddling spurred us both to polish off the largish burgers. The food value at Heart Attack Grill was solid. The entertainment value was huge.

Heart Attack Grill was a tongue-in-cheek celebration of culinary excess. Desserts included candy cigarettes and butterfat milkshakes. They also held the record for the most caloric burger.  This from Wikipedia: The Quadruple Bypass Burger with 9,982 calories has been identified as one of the "world's worst junk foods." It consisted of four half-pound beef patties, twenty strips of bacon, eight slices of American cheese, a whole tomato, and half an onion served in a bun coated with lard." I put in a 200-story stairs climbing workout the following morning to bun the excess calories that I had consumed.

Burger Review : Schtick aside, Heart Attack Grill served up a pretty good burger for a pretty good price. I would go again.

Rating...4 Bites

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

P.J. Clarke's--Las Vegas, NV

3500 S Las Vegas Blvd.
Las Vegas, NV 89109

 Several years ago, PJ. Clarke's had served up a pretty OK burger in NYC, but I had high hopes for the Las Vegas outpost. Happy Meal were fresh off of the enormous letdown of Rambo's Kitchen, and I wanted to set things right with a high-end burger. Hope was expensive.

We arrived at a very slow time of the evening and a staff that was relatively uninformed regarding the signature burger. The cheeseburger at P.J. Clarke's was a whopping $17.60, so we were hoping for something relatively impressive. We ordered a couple of Deluxe Burgers and settled in for 20 minute wait. P.J. Clarke's was located at Caesar's Palace. The decor was true to NYC, only with more cameras.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: Meh. The burger meat arrived pre-ground from the Outwest Meat Company in Las Vegas. The beef was sourced from a ranch in Wyoming. The pre-cooked weight was 8 ounces. I mistakenly ordered my burger Med-Rare due to the assumption that $17.50 would get me something better than Chuck. I was incorrect--at least, the beef was so mild that is seemed like Chuck. Regardless, the 80/20 ground beef was moderately beefy, quite juicy, and that was about it. The beef was ground at a medium-coarse setting. The bite was tender and not oily. There were no notes of iron, blood, or aging. The beef was slightly above average.

The Seasoning: There was none.

The Sear: P.J. Clarke's in spite of being a big time steakhouse was unable to get a competent sear onto the beef patty. I found this confusing. This should have been simple and obvious. It was not. This cheeseburger would have benefited greatly from the sort of sear that a steakhouse should be capable of.

The Preparation: The 8-ounce patties were loosely formed. My burger arrived at a perfect Med-Rare, as requested. The burgers were cooked on a gas-fired griddle.

The Cheese: The American cheese was perfectly melted. The American cheese saved the day for this otherwise, ho hum burger. The cheese filled in with savory and iron notes. This properly rounded out the bite.

The Bun: P.J. Clarke's served the cheeseburger on a nicely toasted brioche-style bun. The bun was mild and slightly sweet. Sadly, the assembled burger was delivered atop a freshly cut slice of raw, white onion. The result was that the taste of onion perfused the entire bite. I did not want this.

The Meat To Bun Ratio: This was perfect.

The Toppings: The Iceberg lettuce was fresh and crisp. The tomato slices were a bit under-ripe.

The Fries: Hell yeah! The fries at P.J. Clarke's were terrific.They were par-cooked. The fries were so evenly salted that I believe they had been brined. The fries were then fried in either incredibly fresh canola oil or rice bran oil. The fries were perfectly crisped. They were creamy in the center. The potato flavor was strong, earthy, and satisfying.

The Value: Meh. $17.60 for a Chuck burger and fries was downright excessive. While the burger was pretty good, the price was absurd.

PJ Clarke's needed to contend with serious competition for both steaks and burgers. A more impressive burger would have been a welcome accompaniment to the impressive price.

Burger Review : P.J. Clarke's of Las Vegas served up a good burger at an exorbitant price. The fries were spectacular, though.

Rating...3 Bites (marked down one bite for overly high pricing)

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Rambo's Kitchen--Las Vegas, NV

6085 S Fort Apache Rd 
Las Vegas, NV 89148

The Las Vegas Review Journal pronounced Rambo's Kitchen as serving one of the best burgers in the area. Happy Meal and I decided to put that to the test. As luck would have it, The Marinater was on his way out of town, so we made the short trek from the touristy part of Las Vegas to the outskirts where Rambo's Kitchen was located. The temperature was 111 degree outside, and Happy Meal did not approve. Rambo's Kitchen looks a lot like the 60s and 70s just threw up on it. The service was a throwback, as well. Throwback---more like thrown out...the service was abhorrent. I had to track down our server no less than three times. I digress.

Parking was free in the strip mall lot where the anachronistic establishment was situated. We were seated quickly. We ordered a variety of cheeseburgers and settled in for a 15-minute wait.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: Meh. The burgers at Rambo's Kitchen were 100% Chuck. In the case of our meals, the Chuck was over-cooked, bland, and rubbery. The beef was likely previously frozen. The grind was fine, and that rarely bodes well. Finely ground beef speaks to too much connective tissue. It also creates too much surface area where new protein bonds form and create a chewy bite. The flavor was mildly beefy........and that was it. The burgers were a little dry, and the fat content was at about 20%.

The Seasoning: There was no seasoning. The cheeseburgers at Rambo's Kitchen would have benefited from some seasoning.

The Sear: The sear on my thicker patty was adequate. The sear on the 1/4 pound patties that The Marinater and Happy Meal ordered was nonexistent

The Preparation: The burgers were consistently over-cooked/steamed on a gas-fired flat top. The staff cooked the burger patties under domes. This caused the thinner burger patties to steam rather than fry. The burgers were formed during morning prep. The beef arrived pre-ground. My burger, The Cheesy Cheese Burger was stuffed with cheese, since this was the award-winning burger. Rather than being good, it was simply really cheesy. I gave most of it to The Marinater and Happy Meal. My burger was the most palatable of the lot. My burger had a bit of pink due its thickness.

The Cheese: The cheese was properly melted, but it didn't stand up to the overly sweet bun or the over-cooked, rubbery beef.

The Bun: The bun was really nicely toasted and crisp, and it delivered a satisfying crunch to each bite. Sadly,the bun was overly sweet, and this was a major distraction.

The Meat To Bun Ration: The soft, fresh bun would have been a better match to a moist and properly cooked burger patty.

The Toppings: The Iceberg lettuce and tomato were both ripe and fresh.

The Fries: The fries were properly seasoned, but they were cooked to the point of translucency. Beyond that, the fries were more like fry bits. They averaged about 1/2 inch long--that was a little offputting. It seemed like we were getting whatever was left after the end of a long rush. The fries at Rambo's Kitchen were properly seasoned.

The Value: My Cheese Burger was $11.49, and that was way too much for over-cooked Chuck, vulcanized fries, and piss poor service. The value at Rambo's Kitchen was exceedingly weak.

While the service was lousy at Rambo's Kitchen, the real issue was that the cheeseburgers were equally lousy. Maybe they were having a bad day, but I review them on the day that I am there. Happy Meal does not endorse patronizing this establishment.

Burger Review : The incompetently prepared burgers were a perfect match to the incompetent service.

Rating...2 Bites

Fat Choy--Las Vegas, NV

595 East Sahara Ave.
At Eureka Casino
Las Vegas, NV 89104

Happy Meal and I were on a Las Vegas pilgrimage. Las Vegas continued its burger renaissance, and Fat Choy had been making some lists of up and coming establishments.We made Fat Choy our first stop. Parking was free in the attached, uncovered lot. That also meant that the car got nice and hot in the 111 degree heat as we dined. Fat Choy is located in the Eureka Casino. This is a tiny casino a few blocks off of the strip. I ordered a $10 Fat Choy Burger with all of the messy toppings on the side. My burger arrived in about 20 minutes.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: The beef in the Fat Choy Burger was 100% Certified Angus Chuck. While the cheeseburger was moderately beefy, it lacked any further complexity. That was probably why the routine at Fat Choy was to obscure their burgers under heaps of toppings. The Fat Choy Burger came with braised Short Rib. Bacon, a Fried Egg, Lettuce, and Tomato. Without these things, the beef was left to stand alone. The beef was sourced from National Beef. The 8-ounce patties arrived pre-formed. It was juicy. The fat content was 20%.  All told, the burger meat was just fine.

The Seasoning: The exterior of the burger patty was sprinkled with a little salt...just enough to enhance the beefiness from the ample collagen in the ground Chuck.

The Sear: The kitchen at Fat Choy got a decent sear onto my burger with very hot, gas-fired grill. As I watched the burger patty cook, I was pleased to note that the kitchen did not fuss with it. This allowed the sear to develop.

The Preparation: There wasn't much to it at Fat Choy. The 8-ounce patties were pre-formed. The kitchen delivered a competent Med-Well burger, and the egg was a perfectly runny, sunny side up.

The Cheese: The White American cheese that topped my cheeseburger was nicely melted. It provided just enough salt and iron to round out the bite.

The Bun: The burger bun at Fat Choy arrived courtesy of La Brea Bakery. The Brioche-style bun was adequately toasted, and it delivered a slight crunch. Otherwise, the bun was completely neutral.

The Toppings: The Iceberg lettuce and tomato were both fresh and ripe. The Short Rib was savory and tender. It reminded me of my mom's pot roast. The bacon was savory and smokey. The fried egg was perfectly prepared. I re-assembled my Fat Choy Burger. The result was a very sloppy and unfocused bite. I gave up after two bites and made a trip to the restroom to wash my hands.

The Fries: The fries at Fat Choy arrived par-cooked and frozen in bags. The kitchen cooked the peel-off, shoestring fries in properly hot canola oil. The fries arrived hot, crisp, lightly browned, and properly seasoned.

The Value: Ten bucks for a half-pound cheeseburger with bacon, egg, Short Rib,and fries....not bad.

Fat Choy was our first stop on our second burger crawl of the year. It was a fine way to kick things off.

Burger Review : Fat Choy served up a better than average cheeseburger at a better than average value.

Rating...4 Bites

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