Pono Burger--Santa Monica, CA

829 Broadway Ave.
Santa Monica, CA 90401
310-584-7005
website

I was heading up Broadway after a particularly unpleasant workout on the Santa Monica stairs. There was some sort of organized running thing going on, which messed up my drive home, and it was because of that detour that I came to notice Pono Burger. I assembled Happy Meal and The Marinater. The Marinater was able to take some time off from juggling manhole covers on Venice Beach to join us.


From the Pono Burger site, "...Chef Makani's philosophy is simple: use organic and farm fresh ingredients for a handcrafted burger made with integrity that above all, tastes great..."  Pono means "doing things the right way." Pono Burger was the sister restaurant of Ultimate Burger in Kona, HI. Pono Burger's thing was to serve high-quality ingredients with a minimum of fussing. We noted that the new kitchen was an immaculate an gleaming study in stainless steel.

Now, if you visit the Pono Burger site, you will note that they tout free parking. We couldn't find it, but there was plenty of metered parking on the street.

We ordered the $7.00 Pono Burgers and added the paper-thin slice of Hook's Cheddar for an extra buck. We waited about 10 minutes for our burgers to arrive.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: This was the star of the show. The beef arrived pre-ground and pre-pattied from Hamilton Meats, and it was derived from cattle from SunFed Ranch. The beef was organic, grass-fed, and grass-finished. The cuts were a bit of a mystery to the staff. We got "Chuck" and "Premium" in terms of description. The burgers tasted of premium cuts. The flavor was strongly beefy, with generous amounts of iron from the blood, a mild bit of funk from some aging, and some complexity that may have been due to some Sirloin or Short Rib. The fat content was close to 25%. The mouth feel was firm and satisfying.

The Seasoning: I watched the kitchen apply a copious amount of seasoning to the burger patties prior to placing them on the grill, but the savory notes were all but lost by the time the burgers arrived.

The Sear: Meh. What sear?  The wood-fired grill was way too cool to even get grill marks onto the 1/3 pound patties. A hearty sear would have really hit the spot with this burger.

The Preparation: There wasn't much for the kitchen to do but fire burger patties and assemble cheeseburgers at Pono Burger. The patties arrived pre-made. The kitchen nailed my request for Med-Rare. What was confusing was the oddball claim that the burgers were both dry rubbed and basted. This made no sense, and it did not happen. The raw burger  patties were liberally sprinkled with seasoning (dry rub), but they were not basted on the oak-fired grill

The Cheese: The Hook's One Year Aged Cheddar was great when sampled alone, but the slice was so thin that it was lost in the overly sweet bun. Without the bun, the cheese was still barely noticeable. This burger warranted a thicker slice of cheese.

The Bun: The brioche at Pono Burger was a bespoke recipe, which was baked and delivered by Ragusa's Bakery (I couldn't find such an establishment, so perhaps I misunderstood.). The bun was cross between a brioche and a King's Hawaiian Roll. The bun by itself was fine. It was a little flaky, strongly sweet, pleasantly moist. However, it was the exact opposite of the burger and cheese. The bun was kryponite to the burger. The flavors of the bun utterly cancelled out the beef. It was nearly unsettling. I removed the top bun to diminish its beef-neutralizing effects. Again, the bun, on it's own, was fine, but it was poor match for the flavors of the burger and cheese. Beyond that, the bun was only slightly toasted--it provided no crunch.

The Meat To Bun Ratio: Notwithstanding the foregoing, this was spot on.

The Toppings: The Romaine lettuce and the tomato slice were clean, fresh, and ripe.

The Fries: The fries were peel-on, cut in-house, par-cooked, and fried in rice bran oil. They were seasoned with herbs--mostly thyme. The fries were properly crisped. The skimpy portion of fries went for 3 bucks. Spuds were cheap..there was no point in holding back on the fries.

The Value: 8 bucks for a 1/3 pound cheeseburger was a little steep considering the stingy cheese, the lacking sear, and the flavor-zapping bun. The ingredients were great, but much tuning was required to deliver on the value.

Pono Burger was only a few weeks old when I stopped in. I hoped that it would hit its stride and reach the potential of the ingredients. At the time of my visit the whole was far less than the sum of its parts.

Burger Review : Great potential in terms on concept and ingredients. Hopefully the execution will catch up with the vision. Beyond that, it would be nice if the portioning caught up with the pricing.

Rating...3 Bites (rounded down from 3.5 for substandard value)

Bachi Burger -- Los Angeles, CA

I was driving down Sawtelle Boulevard the other day. I had to grab some Tekka Maki to pack in Happy Meal's lunch box. It was then that I discovered that Bachi Burger had begun expanding. It wasn't really news, but it was news to me.

Sadly, like Umami Burger, Bachi Burger waited until they had lost steam in terms of quality to begin expanding. Umami Burger was once the best burger in Los Angeles, but that faded within a year or so as their standards went out the window. Presently, Umami Burger has been pumping out pretty good, but over-priced, burgers from multiple locations for a few years. All the while, Umami Burger has been steadily expanding. Bachi Burger, the former darling cheeseburger of Las Vegas, has followed suit, and the LA location will be the third storefront. When I visited Bachi Burger, I was underwhelmed, and I have heard similar comments from my burger loving brothers and sisters.

Fortunately for burger lovers in Little Osaka, there is a really, really good burger spot a few blocks away....Plan Check,
Bear in mind that Bachi Burger held it together for a few years in Las Vegas before jumping the shark, so it is possible that they will turn out great food in LA during the honeymoon phase...hopefully beyond that.

On the plus side, The Cult's "She Sells Sanctuary" was playing on the radio in the car this morning, and that was pretty awesome. It's a lot butcher if you don't watch the video. Also, you should probably start watching Workaholics on Comedy Central. It's juvenile, and I love. it.

Candle Cafe & Grill--Venice, CA

325 Ocean Front Walk
Venice, CA 90291
310-314-4456
website

Happy Meal and I were originally going to meet The Marinater at The Fig Tree in Venice, CA, but that joint was closed when we arrived at 7 PM. We were already beachside in Venice, so we walked a block or so to the next restaurant that we saw, and they had a burger on the chalkboard. Sold! The establishment was Candle Cafe and Grill. Parking?  We were in Venice, CA, so parking was a giant pain in the arse. We parked many blocks away and hoofed it. Anyway, Candle Cafe and Grill was right by the beach, but it was already dark out--we sat inside. The establishment was kind enough to provide Snuggies to its outdoor patrons...nice touch. We ordered a triumvirate of cheeseburgers and settled in for a 15-minute wait.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: Candle Cafe and Grill used 80:20 Certified Angus Beef (CAB), and the cut was Chuck. Accordingly, we ordered our burgers Med-Well. The burgers were beefy. The grind was coarse, so the burgers had a pleasant firmness to the bite. The burgers were juicy without being greasy. The was not a hint of funk, iron, or other notes to complicate the simple flavor of beef and spices. There was a little more connective tissue than I cared for, but Happy Meal didn't seem to mind.

The Seasoning: A generous blend of salt and pepper was used to season the exterior of our1/4 pound burgers. Salt and pepper was all that it took to maximize the flavor that the Chuck brought to this party. The seasoning was just right.

The Sear: The sear on the cheeseburger at Candle Cafe and Grill came courtesy of a hot flat top. The sear was reasonably dark, but it lacked any real crispness. Looking back, it would have been tough to get a great sear on a 1/4 pound burger.

The Preparation: The burger patties were formed gently, so that any protein bonds that formed were minimal. This resulted in tender rather than chewy burgers. The burgers were cooked to a competent Med-Well. Chuck burgers taste best when cooked to Med-Well, because it brings them up to a temperature where the collagen melts. It's that melted collagen that creates the potent, beefy taste associated with Chuck.

The Cheese: We ordered our burgers with a slice of American cheese. The American cheese did its job. Sadly, they dinged us for an extra buck for it. So it goes. Still, I love American cheese. It is simply appropriate on a cheeseburger.

The Bun: The bun was delivered by California Bakery of San Diego. The seeded burger buns were fresh, moist, sweet, yeasty, and lightly toasted. I would have preferred a crispier bun, but this was fine.

The Meat To Bun Ratio: The buns were probably better suited to Candle Cafe and Grill's 1/2 pound burger, but the bun was moist enough that it didn't completely overwhelm the burger patty.

The Toppings: The menu promised Butter Leaf, but the Romaine that showed up in its stead was just fine. The tomato slice was on the green side, but it was flavorful and not at all mealy or hard. The chipotle aioli was especially nice, and it went well with the fries.

The Fries: These were cut in house. The fries were peel-on, par-cooked, and fried to a perfect color in vegetable oil. Candle Cafe and Grill seasoned the fries in vinegar and sea salt. Delicious! The interiors were creamy while the outsides were crisp. The fries were the star of the meal.

The Value: 10 bucks for a 1/4 pound of Chuck was a little too much. Still, the burgers were good, and the fries were better.

Candle Cafe and Grill served up a fine burger and some truly excellent fries. It made me wonder why everyone didn't use vinegar and sea salt on their fries. I was an instant convert.

Burger Review : The burger was fine but a little pricey. The fries were epic.

Rating...4 Bites

Smashburger--Culver City, CA

10704 Venice Boulevard
#B Suite 330
Culver City, CA 90232
310-893-6244
website

Do you know what I like?  I like a good burger located near my home. Enter the recently opened Culver City, Ca location of Smashburger.

This is excerpted from the Smashburger website: "...Why meatballs, not patties?  Because unlike the other burger places, we don’’t squish.  We smash.  Place your order and we spring into action, painting the grill with real butter, adding a dash of our secret spice blend, and smashing the meatball with a tool we invented ourselves (it’’s so new, it doesn’’t even have a name — let’’s just call it the smashing tool).  Smashing caramelizes the beef, creating a sear that locks in the juices as no other cooking method can.  The result is a burger that’’s more tender and flavorful than anybody else’’s..."  Ok, we all know that it's not really caramelization but rather the Malliard Reaction, but that's fine...they were pretty close.

Happy Meal were actually on our way to Yogurtland when we discovered that a Smashburger had opened under our noses. They had only been opened for a day or so, and not all of the metal serving trays had arrived yet. On a subsequent visit, the usual stuff was present. We found free parking in the large lot in the strip mall where the newly minted restaurant was located. We ordered our burgers, fries, and drinks, and we settled in for a 15-minute wait.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: Smashburger's beef was 100% certified, Angus Chuck, which had never been frozen. The flavor was solidly beefy and buttery. There was a pleasant note of funk and a bit of iron. The texture was loose. The beef was juicy, and little on the oily side...cooking a burger in butter will do that. The burger patty was about 4 ounces. All told, the burger meat at Smashburger was darn good and very satisfying.

The Seasoning: The burger patties were properly seasoned with salt, pepper, and other spices. The seasoning perfectly enhanced the strong beefy flavor of the Med-Well Chuck.

The Sear: On our initial visit, the sear was average, but on subsequent visits, the sear was nearly glassy. A Smashburger with a good sear is terrific...a Smashburger with a weak sear is still pretty good.

The Preparation: See above. The burgers came out a perfectly juicy Med-Well. They were cooked on a 425 degree, gas-fired flat top. The cooking method, like the burgers at Super Duper Burger in San Francisco, resulted in tender, juicy, and flavorful cheeseburgers.

The Cheese: There were a number of cheese choices, and I went with American...good choice. The American cheese provided that perfect amount of iron, salt, and creaminess to round out the bite.

The Bun: There were also a number of bun choices at Smashburger. I went with the classic egg bun. This was a fresh, yeasty, moist, sweet, and nicely chewy bun. The bun was properly toasted, and the edge bites had a nice crispness to them.

The Toppings: Smashburger offers a the opportunity to customize one's burger with 8 sauces, 9 veg choices, 7 cheese choices, and 4 bun choices. Those choices varied from location to location. The Romaine lettuce was fresh and crisp. The tomato slices were ripe and juicy. The Spicy Chipotle Mayo was just that, and it was a nice addition to the burger.

The Fries: The fries at Smashburger were hand-cut and peel-on. The seasoning was the right combination of coarse sea salt. The fries were perfectly crisped and golden brown. Win!

The Value: Cheeseburger $5.99--Fries 1.99--Beverage $1.89.  That was about 11 bucks with tax for a meal. The value was fine considering the quality of the preparation and the tasty ingredients.

I was pleased to finally have a Smashburger in my area. MIRU 8691 was gone, and Wolfgang's Steakhouse only served a burger at lunch. Happy Meal was equally pleased since he was partial to the shakes. Everything at Smashburger was good...not amazing....but really good.

Burger Review : Smashburger provided a nearby "really good" cheeseburger at a reasonable price.

Rating...4 Bites

Nikki -- Venice, Ca

72 Market Street
Venice, CA 90291
310-450-3010
website

Happy Meal, and I had just recovered from the H3N1 flu that was making the rounds. This was the first year that I skipped getting the flu shot, and it shall be the last. We called up The Marinater, who was taking a break from bench pressing his car (he got his flu shot), and discovered that he had a Groupon for Nikki in Venice, Ca. The metered parking was free on the street after 6:00 PM...bingo. The name of the joint was confusing. The website and other official listings, came up as Nikki, but the signage read, "Nikki's."  Nikki had received wildly mixed reviews on Yelp and the lot. We ordered a gang of burgers and settled in for a 20-minute wait.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: The menu at Nikki touted 100% Angus beef, and our server's knowledge of the burger did not extend past that. The burger meat appeared to be standard 20% fat Chuck. The flavor was firmly beefy. There was no trace of funk, minerals, or anything else that would have led us to conclude that there was more in the blend than Chuck. The beef was a little rubbery around the edges--we ordered the burgers Med-Well to develop flavor from the Chuck. The grind was coarse, and the mouth feel was firm. Overall, the beef was fine and just a little above average.

The Seasoning: The exterior of the irregular, hand-formed, half-pound burger patty was nicely seasoned with a perfect blend of salt and pepper. The seasoning blend perfectly complemented the beef to maximize the impact of the one-note Chuck.

The Sear: Meh.  The Sear on the burger patty at Nikki was unimpressive. The gas-fired grill imparted some moderate grill marks, but there was no crispness.

The Preparation: The burger meat at Nikki was over-manipulated during the patty forming process, and this created too much by way of protein bonds. This resulted in a chewy burger. The burgers were only flipped once during the cooking process--that was appropriate. Additionally, the burgers were juicy, so the kitchen was not guilty of pressing on the patties during the cooking process.

The Cheese: The cheese choices at Nikki were Monterey Jack, Cheddar, and American. I went with American, and I was pleased with the result. The double helping of American cheese worked its customary and expected magic by providing a dependable amount of iron, creaminess, umami, and moisture to the bite. The cheese was a winner.

The Bun: The burger bun at Nikki was a fresh, moist, tender, sweet, seeded burger bun. The bun was nicely toasted. The bun provided just enough sweetness and crunch to balance out the cheeseburger.

The Meat To Bun Ratio: This was ideal. The bun barely managed to contain the large burger patty. Nonetheless, the bun was up to the task of keeping one's hands grease free without dominating the bite.

The Toppings: The Romaine lettuce was fresh and crisp. The large tomato slice was under-ripe and mealy.

The Fries: The peel-off fries were perfectly crisped and managed to maintain their crunch as they cooled. The fries at Nikki were perfectly salted.

The Value: The cheeseburger and fries at Nikki was listed at $10. All things considered, the value was average.

The burger at Nikki certainly appealed to Happy Meal. The Marinater and I found the cheeseburger to be better than average but not something that we would go out of our way for.

Burger Review : Nikki served up a slightly better than average cheeseburger with terrific side of fries.

Rating...4 Bites (rounded up from 3.5)

The Yard -- Santa Monica, CA

119 Broadway
Santa Monica, CA 90401
310-395-6037

A few years ago, Fat Bruce Lee went to The Yard in Santa Monica, and he declared it to be an excellent burger.. This was back when Chris Jacobsen of  Top Chef fame was running things. The Yard's website was next to useless. It was less than reassuring to note that the site promised that a new site was coming soon...in November of 2011. I do not think that "soon" meant what they thought it meant.

Fast forward to to 2012, and I had a Groupon for The Yard. I bribed a guard and smuggled The Marinater out of the supermax prison where he was serving 12 consecutive life sentences for running moonshine in Utah and making illegal modifications to Frisbees. The great state of Utah and Wham-O, Inc. take that stuff more seriously than you might have imagined. The freshly tatted-up Marinater and I easily found $5 parking in one of the nearby public garages.We were seated promptly, and we ordered our $16 burgers. After a 25-minute wait, our cheeseburgers arrived.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: The beef in the cheeseburgers at The Yard was a combination of house-ground Wagyu...Brisket and Eye Round (both wet-aged). Eye Round was an interesting choice for burger meat. Eye Round is a very lean and quite tough cut of beef. It is often used in cube steak. Eye Round is a cut, which requires braising or other tenderization techniques to make it less chewy. The combination of ground Eye Round and Brisket fell flat at The Yard. The texture was slick on the palate. The burgers were undercooked . to a barely warm Rare. However, cooking that Eye Round past that would have turned the bite into a mouthful of rubber bands. The fat from the Brisket simply coated the chewy bits of nearly raw Eye Round. This created a mouth feel akin to biting into oily, warm, firm, chopped, Jello that was seasoned with mild beef broth. Putting aside the alien texture, the flavor was mildly beefy, and there were so pleasant notes of iron and steak. There was also a faint note of funk  The fat content seemed higher than it probably was, because the fat was not absorbed by the lean, dense Eye Round. The bite was oily. The choice of beef for this burger was interesting...in a bad way.

The Seasoning: There was a faint dusting of salt on the exterior of the burger patty.

The Sear: The sear looked quite nice, but it was no match for the bait shop that comprised the interior of the burger.

The Preparation: Meh. The beef came from Vernon Meats. This was according to our server, but I couldn't locate any such business during a cursory web search. Not that this mattered. This was not the sort of dish that I had any interest in seeking out twice. The burger patties at The Yard were about 6 ounces. I assumed that they were formed during the prep cycle. The pressure with which they were formed?  The Yard could have used an industrial hydraulic press, and it wouldn't have mattered. The burgers would have come out the same as if they were gently formed by blind monks in a cave behind a waterfall.

The Cheese: The Yard employed a stout Gruyere. The Gruyere added tartness, umami, salt, and some nuttiness to the dish. Sadly, Gruyere is not the best of melting cheeses, to this only added to the rubberiness of the bite.

The Bun: The burger bun at The Yard came to us courtesy of Bread Bar. Bread Bar has always provided a fantastic product, and this was no exception. The Brioche was mildly sweet and perfectly tender and fresh. The bun was moderately toasted, but the beef was so wet and slick that the texture of the bun was lost in the bite.

The Meat To Bun Ratio: Perfect.

The Toppings: The burger was much improved when fully dressed with the accompanying arugula, crisp pancetta, and oven-roasted tomatoes. All of these elements lent firmness to the otherwise flaccid bite. The peppery, crisp pancetta was the star.

The Fries: The peel-on, hand-cut, shoestring fries at The Yard were perfectly crisped in fresh canola oil. Further, the fries were perfectly seasoned. The fries were the clear winner on the plate.

The Value: NO! 16 bucks for 6 ounces of chewiness was about 10 bucks too much. Without the Groupon, we would have paid $42 for 2 cheeseburgers and 2 soft drinks....OUCH.

Fat Bruce Lee may or may not have been high when he first tried the burger at The Yard and pronounced it to be good. When The Marinater and I sampled the cheeseburger in 2012, it was an over-priced and ill-considered dish. Within 10 minutes of completing our meals, we both had stomach aches from these gut bombs.

Burger Review : Leave this one to the tourists. This spendy burger will not have you running to The Yard.


Rating...2 Bites




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Lemon Moon -- Los Angeles, CA

12200 W. Olympic Blvd.

Los Angeles, CA 90064
310-442-9191
website

Chi Burger discovered that Lemon Moon had received a nice review in the LA Weekly. That particular review noted that Lemon Moon's Prime Burger was one of the best in LA. We wheedled Fat Bruce Lee into abandoning his family so that he could join us for lunch. Lemon Moon was a combination of the translated surnames of the chefs behind the restaurant, Josiah Citrin and Raphael Lunetta.

This from the Lemon Moon website:  Josiah Citrin and Raphael Lunetta, the chef team who opened JiRaffe in Santa Monica (Citrin left after a few years to open Melisse), are joining forces again. Lemon Moon Cafe, due in March, will be an upscale take-out-heavy spot geared to the West L.A. office crowd. All of this spoke to the intent of a restaurant, which was about to open. This was still on the site even though the establishment had been operating for several years. I suppose this lack of attention to detail should have raised a flag.

The metered street parking was convenient, and the crowd was light when we arrived at noon. We ordered and paid at the counter and settled in to wait for about 10 minutes for our burgers.....sort of. I requested a Medium burger with American cheese.

• First Try: Well-Done with Cheddar. When I returned this burger, I was informed that there was no American cheese....sigh. I had to wonder if the person at the counter even listened to my order. I tasted a bit of the Cheddar before I returned the burger, and it was oily and bland. I asked them to try again but with the Gruyere.
• Second Try: Cheddar again. I returned this burger with some exasperation.
• Third Try: Med-Rare (I ordered Medium), but at least it had the Gruyere...close enough, since my companions were nearly done with their meals. In retrospect, I should have given up on the first try. Some things are not worth trying too hard on. The cheeseburger at Lemon Moon was not worth the effort.

The Burger Breakdown...
The Beef: The wet-aged Chuck was a bit of a disaster. The $12 burger weighed in at about 5.5 ounces, so it was a miserly portion of beef. That was a bit of a blessing, however. The wet-aged Chuck arrived pre-ground, and it was aged to the point of passing funky and well into the territory that I defined as skanky. It was unpleasantly gamey, and that gaminess lingered on the palate long after I departed Lemon Moon. Otherwise, the burger patty was only moderately beefy in flavor, and that was it. It was not juicy in the least. The thin patty was also overly firm and chewy. The beef was simply not good. I choked down half of my burger and gave up.

The Seasoning: Only the exterior of the burger patties were seasoned. The application of salt was on the heavy-handed side. I brought 1/2 of my burger back to the minions, and they all shared a similar opinion as to the amount of seasoning on the burger.
The Sear: Meh. The burgers were cooked on a too-cool flat-top, and the resultant sear was weak, rubbery, and spotty.

The Preparation: The burger patties at Lemon Moon were prepped in the morning. In spite of a light crowd and at least three cooks manning the kitchen, the quality of the food and preparation was poor. Chi Burger requested Med-Rare and received Med-Well. Fat Bruce Lee requested Medium and received Well Done.

The Cheese: The Cheddar was oily and bland, but the Gruyere, which Lemon Moon managed to get on top of my burger on the third attempt, was very nice. It was savory and nutty. The Gruyere was the best thing about this over-priced, poorly prepared cheeseburger.

The Bun: The brioche bun was sourced from Rockenwagner Bakery. This bun was two sizes too large for the wee, beef patty. The brioche had a leathery skin, and the interior, while sweet, was very spongy and on the dry side. This, when coupled with the chewy dryish beef, served to create a moisture sapping bite. Even after removing the bottom bun, the dish was still overly dry.  Additionally, the bun was only nominally toasted, so it provided nothing by way of crunch, and this further reinforced the rubbery mouth feel of the beef.

The Meat To Bun Ratio: The over-sized bun overwhelmed the small, thin burger patty.

The Sides: The fries arrived at Lemon Moon in a frozen state. The thick-cut fries were peel-off, and they were cooked to a crisp golden brown in very hot soy oil. Chi Burger remarked that the fries were nearly identical to the ones that were found in cafeterias in grade school and middle school when he was a youngster. The fries were mealy in the center and they set up into a thick paste as we tried to chew them. Since my burger required repeated re-fires the original batch of fries were nearly at room temperature by the time the kitchen delivered the third burger. This was a weak move--they should have made fresh fries. They were nicely seasoned, though. On another positive note, the mixed vegetable slaw, which accompanied the cheeseburgers, was fresh and flavorful. This side was the best thing on the plate.

The Toppings: Sigh....the shredded Iceberg lettuce was limp and lukewarm, and the tomato slices were under-ripe. The sauce for the burgers was nice. It was essentially a Thousand Island dressing, but it was a savory version with notes of tarragon and dill. Finally, the caramelized onions were tasty.

The Value: The value was exceedingly poor. It was $12 for a burger, which was was lacking in every area. The burger patty was undersized. The quality of the ingredients did not warrant the price point. Additionally, in spite of numerous blundering attempts to deliver an acceptable dish, not one person checked in with us to ascertain if the final attempt was satisfactory.

Lemon Moon was founded by two well-regarded chefs, but none of that culinary horsepower was evident on the day that TheBurgerBusters came to call. The burgers were over-priced and sloppily/incompetently prepared using weak ingredients and no apparent regard to customer satisfaction. As a result, this was a wholly unsatisfying dining experience.

Burger Review : No! No! No! This was one of the worst burger experiences that we have had in Los Angeles.

Rating...One Bite One truly unfortunate bite.

The Fat Dog -- Los Angeles, CA

801 N. Fairfax Ave.
Los Angeles, CA 90046
323-951-0030
website

Fat Bruce Lee, myself, and special guests set our sights on The Fat Dog. This was based on a recommendation by one of our foodie friends. The Fat Dog was the second gastropub of the same name, which had been opened by Chef John Gladish. The other location was in Montrose, CA. The menu consisted of tricked out comfort foods including mac and cheese and some sort of enormous hot dog. We were greeted with some very tasty olive oil toasted almonds with salt and rosemary...I could have filled up on these. We ordered a lot of burgers (The Burger $12 with fries). We settled in for a 25-minute wait, and the kitchen thoughtfully sent out an order of hummus while our burgers were being prepared.


The Burger Breakdown...


The Beef: The beef in The Burger at The Fat Dog was 80% Sirloin and 20% Chuck. The wet-aged beef arrived pre-ground from the meat purveyor. Surprisingly, the beef did not come from the butcher shop, Lindy & Grundy, which was located one storefront away from the restaurant. The burger patty was a 9-ounce monster. It was juicy, beefy, and it had a firm taste of iron. No aged notes came through, however. The beef was relatively raw in the center of the very thick patty, and this would have bee desirable had the Sirloin behaved as it should have. The beef was merely satisfying--I wanted the Sirloin to carry the dish a little more strongly with deep and complex steak flavors.

The Seasoning: The interior of the patty was unseasoned, and a patty of this thickness really would have benefited from some salt to punch up the flavors. The exterior of the patty was given an even treatment of salt and pepper. The pepper added a nice bite to the beef-heavy dish, and the salt lent some pop to the beefiness.

The Sear: The sear from the gas-fired grill was competent. It provided a little crunch, but in the case of a very thick burger, it would have been quite a trick to get a good sear on the exterior while warming up the interior. A hot griddle would have done the job, but since the bun was also grilled, it appeared that there was no griddle available to the kitchen staff. 

The Preparation: The pre-ground beef was formed into thick, loose patties in the morning. The beef was handled with care, and it was tender. It was not in the least bit chewy or rubbery.  My cheeseburger arrived Med-Rare as requested.

The Cheese: The Fat Dog had a single cheese choice, and that was Shaved Manchego. The firm, sheep's milk cheese was a poor choice to be paired with a burger. The cheese had the texture of a waxy Swiss Cheese, and it did not melt. It offered nothing in terms of savory or umami notes. It was bland and leathery. It also did not make itself noticed on the palate. This would have been better had they simply used American Cheese. It worked at Wolfgang's Steakhouse on a similar burger.


The Bun: The La Brea Bakery-sourced brioche was a good match for the massive burger patty. The bready, neutral, toasted bun stood up to the very thick and juicy puck of ground beef. The bun was buttered and sprinkled with red pepper flakes prior to being heavily toasted on the grill. This created a sturdy and satisfying crunch.


The Meat To Bun Ratio: This was spot on.


The Fries: I was informed that the origin of the fries was "top secret."  That meant that they showed up frozen in a bag. The fries were just fine. They were peel-off, shoestring fries, which had been perfectly crisped in canola oil. They were seasoned with sea salt. The fries were just right.

The Toppings: The baby arugula was a misnomer. The arugula had matured well past infancy, and it was at retirement age by the time it hit the plate. It was largely waxy, leathery, and browned in spots.  It was pleasantly nutty, though.


The Value: It was $12 for a huge  and better-than-average burger with a generous portion of delicious fries. The value was good at The Fat Dog.


The Fat Dog prepared a good burger. The quality of the ingredients was strong, and the preparation was sound. Some dry-aged beef and a little seasoning in those huge burger patties would have brought the burger up a notch. Still, this was a better-than-average burger for a fair price.


Burger Review : A generous portion of quality beef and tasty fries can be found at The Fat Dog.


Rating: 4 Bites (rounded up from 3.5 Bites)

The Nook -- Los Angeles, CA

11628 Santa Monica Blvd #9

Los Angeles, CA 90025T 
310.207.5160
F 310.207.5220

Website

Holy crap! These guys have an iPhone app--just sayin'.

I was, recently, pointed to The Nook by a co-worker, who claimed that they made a fine cheeseburger. The Nook was really tucked away in............a nook. Happy Meal and I overshot it twice and had to call for them to direct us to the spot.

That's a LOT of bun.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef:  80:20 coarse, pre-ground, Sterling Silver, chuck.  I had to ask what Sterling Silver meant in terms of beef, and I have provided a link for those as clueless on the topic as I was.  In spite of the fat content, the burger was not overly greasy, and I attributed that to the coarse grind, which allowed more of the fat to render out during the cooking (overcooking) process.  It tasted strongly of dry-aging, which provided a pleasant front note. Also, since the beef was pre-ground and shipped in plastic tubes from somewhere far, far away, it presented a slightly rubbery mouth feel.  The fact that the beef was overcooked did not help.

Too cool grill delivered a weak sear

The Sear:  Meh--they cooked the burgers on a gas grill, and the grill was just too cool to get a competent sear going


The Seasoning:  The hit the outside with a salty, seasoning blend.  The interior was relatively bland, but the strong beef flavors carried the dish over this small hurdle.

The Cheese: They topped the burger with a mild and nutty Gruyere. Fortunately, the weak cheese was compensated for by the seasoning and the beefiness of the burger meat. The Gruyere was, effectively, a "throw away" ingredient, since is contributed nothing buy a little texture and nothing in terms of flavor to the dish. This burger would have benefited from the mighty, Hook's Cheddar that was used at The Belvedere.


The Preparation: My cheeseburger came out an aggressively overcooked to Well in spite of the fact that I ordered it Medium--sigh.  It wasn't the end of the world, since quality beef can tolerated some overcooking and remain flavorful and juicy.  The Nook kept up their end of the bargain, and they used quality beef. The overcooking also melted more of the collagen in the chuck, which created a richer beef flavor. It was an OK trade off, but I would have preferred that the burger just be cooked the way that I requested.

But I ordered this Medium...not Well Done.

The Bun: A neutral but firm Pane Rustico (Rectangular Rustic Sandwich Roll) from La Brea Bakery served as the bun for the oval burgers--this put me in fear of a Father's Office burger, but instead of being a, courtesy of Sang Yoon, PIG AWFUL DISASTER, this was a pretty good cheeseburger.  The roll's sourdough-like firmness served to perfectly balance the chewiness of the pre-ground, and overcooked, burger patty. Additionally, the bottom of the roll was lightly dusted with white, corn meal, and this created an even more interesting texture profile.  The roll was buttered and heavily toasted, which was remarkable to chew on once the blood and juices of the burger soaked in (there was actual blood on the first visit...when they didn't vulcanize the patty).  That could have been a dish in of itself. 


Meat to Bun Ratio:  The Pane Rustico was the clear winner in this battle, and I left a fair amount behind on both of my visits to The Nook

The Fries: They were good on the second visit.  That time they were delicately crispy and properly seasoned--previously, they were unpleasant.

The Value: Generally worth the $12 price tag--more so if they get on the ball with the preparation of the food.

Burger Review : That was close, and with a few tweaks, it could become a really good burger. However, two visits within 3 days and each had different issues. The Nook is unlikely to get to excellent at this rate.  It was a real struggle not to rate this burger lower, because of the quality of the incompetent preparation and the consistency issues, but the ingredients were first class.

Rating...4 Bites  (more like 3.75, so we rounded up)

Note: On a previous visit, the burgers were also overcooked--the grill was much hotter, so the sear was better--the fries were under-seasoned and lank.  Clearly, there was a consistency issue at The Nook.  The ingredients were good, but a guiding hand in the kitchen would have been of great value.